Month of the Military Child:

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Some of you might not know this, but in my church there are missionary couples called to serve as just military relations missionaries. Basically their job is to make sure the military families in the church are taken care of. 

Because our records got so messed up when Clayton was in Korea, this couple had  been trying unsuccessfully to track us down for some time till finally they were able to get our address. But since they had no phone number they decided to just stop on by! Which was embarrassing since it was laundry day. But hey, we live here!

I don't know if anyone else's kids are like this, but when we have visitors all the toys come out:

"Hey look at this ball! Want to see my bike? Here is my awesome helmet. Watch me shoot a Nerf gun at your head!" 

Caden threw them for the loop when he randomly went up and hugged them mid conversation.

"You have very loving children!" They responded. 

When they left the boys followed them out the door and watched from the top of the stairs. 

"Goodbye!" They yelled.

"Bye!" the missionaries responded.

"I LOVE YOU!" Will shouted.

Pause...

"I love you too." they replied sounding slightly taken a back. 

I smiled and thought, "Hey you said it yourself, they are very loving kids."

My kids walked back into the apartment like they were on cloud nine! 

My heart was touched, because they said they loved my kids. April is the month of Military Children. I read once as I was searching for ways to help my children cope with Clayton's tour in Korea, that the impact of a deployment is just as hard on military children as parents getting a divorce. My kids aren't having to worry about us getting divorced but here they are going through something equally traumatic. Military children are different. They have to be tougher than most little kids. They have to be understanding. They have to be patient. They have to strong. But at their core they are still kids. Like all children, military children need to be loved. They need reassurance that they are important, unique and useful. And they need hear it over and over and over again. A big piece of their heart goes missing when mommy or daddy has to leave. A piece of their security. Their foundation is shaken. Some may not show it while others it is obvious.

There are so many "support our troops" and "hug an military wife" slogans. But I feel there is an entire group of little warriors who get over looked. And for them I think it is harder. They didn't choose this life. I do my best to be strong for them. To be the rock that keeps this family grounded. We make extra efforts to make sure they are emotionally healthy. But I can not tell you how touched I am when a teacher, a church leader or a complete stranger coming into our home and makes my boys feel special. It makes all the difference!

So be on the look out for those military children at school, in church and at the playground. They need extra attention, extra reassurance and extra I love you's!

For a comprehensive list on recognizing the stress of deployment I recommend this website. It breaks it down by age. An important point they emphasize is to make sure you take time for you. You need to be stable and patient and making sure you are getting enough sleep and making healthy choices will help you be there for your children. I also recommend taking on a lot less. It's ok to say no, especially when your children need you at your emotional best and that is already compromised. Most days I really have NOTHING going on. Most days I am just hanging out with my kids. Taking it easy and knowing just how far I can push it before I lose it. Because they need me, more now than probably ever!

So in honor of the military children in my life and around the globe I am hosting my first annual Month of the Military Child. If you are a parent of a military child please feel free to share a post about them! Be it how you helped them when their parent was away, tips on helping them with relocation, ways on how you helped them feel connected to a parent who was overseas, an inspiring story, resources that helped you help them...etc. Rules for this link party are simple:

1) Remember OPSEC! If you don't know what that is, be sure to take a second to educate yourself. It is a very important part of being a military spouse.

2) Only family friendly posts are allowed.

3) Posts must be about topics in regards to Military Children.

4) No promoting Etsy Shops or businesses. This is a way to connect with other military parents not to promote your business.

5) If you do link up, please be sure to visit at least three different posts and leave comments! This is just good blogging party etiquette. If you want others to read your posts be sure to also read others as well.

6) No confrontations please: Everyone's parenting styles are different. You may not agree with someone's parenting choices but that doesn't give us the right to be mean or condescending. If you can't say anything nice or constructive then don't say anything at all. We are here to support each other in our efforts to support our military children.

An InLinkz Link-up

Pinterest making you feel inadequate?:

I stumbled across an article and I wish for the life of me I could remember where I read it. But in my search for it I found a slew of articles saying the exact same thing: Pinterest is making women feel inadequate. 

Apparently there have been polls to figure out the exact percentage. They've even coined a term for the anxiety women can get for not measuring up to "Domestic Goddess" standards: "Pinterest Stress," as it has been termed, apparently plagues about half of moms who use the site.

But here is the truth of it:

Pinterest is not making anyone feel inadequate.

YOU are letting yourself feel inadequate.

First we really need to dispense with the idea that there is a perfect woman out there who can bake professional looking cakes, maintain a perfectly organized house, find time to have an amazing bod, become a photographer, cook three square meals a day, have a home sanitized and cleaned to surgical instrument perfection, laundry is never in a heap anywhere, blogs everyday, plans stellar FHE's, homeschools all of their children, makes all their own cleaning supplies, has a career, magnifies her calling like the Hubble Telescope and still manages to maintain a happy healthy marriage and get 8 hours of sleep...etc. There is not enough time in the day:

Believe me, I know: I've looked!

No one is super mom.

Behind that beautiful cake is a kitchen covered in flour. Behind that amazing hand sewn wardrobe is a pile of clean clothes yet to be folded. Next to that healthy dinner is a pile of dirty dishes.

I think secretly we wish she was real. I think we want it to be possible to be Martha Stewart with super powers (Cape included!). Because if someone can do it, then maybe we can too!

But gals let's be honest with ourselves and each other. It ain't happening!

Something has got to give!

Pinterest is about finding inspiration! It's about fueling your creative juices. About trying new things. It's about failing and trying again. It's motivation.

Don't get yourself down because your 11 month old's toys aren't organized per the Dewey Decimal System. Don't think less of yourself because you can't take professional looking photos of your kids. Don't kick yourself for not being able to make your own back porch furniture. Don't kill yourself to make your child's 3rd birthday  an Oscar-after-party worthy event! Don't think because you have to buy your clothes because you can't sew means you are less than worthy.

There are so many things you can do. So many things you are good at! I am the person who could most obviously be overwhelmed and let down by all the glorious pins there are. I am not creative. My talents aren't as obvious as a painter's or singer's. I'm not organized or eating super healthy. But Pinterest is the place I go to try new recipes, find painting tutorials or singing advice. It's where I go when I need inspiration! When I have an idea I want to try and need direction!

Let it be a source for fun and creativity. Let it be a guide to try new things.

But DO NOT EVER let it get you down!

I said it wouldn't happen...and then it did. I became a Whovian:

We don't have cable. But I love me some TV shows! So I am the person who has to avoid Facebook on Monday nights so I don't accidentally discover the Bachelor sent home the girl I wanted to win. During the Olympics, all my favorite series took a hiatus for a little bit and I was in need of something to watch while I folded laundry or got ready in the morning. 

Reluctantly I decided to give the Doctor, just the Doctor, a chance. Maybe I would understand why my friends can go days pinning Tardis jewelry and maybe I would finally understand what the heck and Odd Ood was. 

So I watched episode one... and it was like:

I was not hooked at all. But those darn OLYMPICS! There was nothing else, so I watched episode two...then three and before I knew it I was actually starting to like it...thinking:

But I didn't think it had really taken hold until:

And I was all like:

What!? Who the heck does flippin' Barty Crouch Jr. think he is?? He can't be the Doctor! This is outrageous!

 This was my first experience with the Doctor regeneration fan acceptance cycle:

I was so done. Except for those dang Olympics! So I kept watching... and kept watching... and now I am afraid I will be like this:

I know it's coming... But that's the Regeneration Fan Acceptance Cycle for you! 

So now I understand why y'all pin tons of Tardis closet makeover ideas. I'm thinking about doing it myself:

So until my husband lets that happen (a.k.a never):

Caden's Birthday: Can't Believe He is Three!

Hitch hiking to Nani's house!

Took him awhile to get that last candle!

Clayton made the cake!!

He just baked the cake in a loaf pan. Topped them flat and then frosted them and put frosted Oreoes on top! 

Dear Little One: What Birthdays Mean for Mommies

(Third Birthday!)

Dear Little One, 

Today is your birthday! No doubt you are excited about the balloons, cake, waffles with sprinkles, birthday pictures and of course presents! 

For you, a birthday is a celebration of growing up! One year closer to kindergarten. One year closer to getting baptized. One year closer to high school and driving and dating. One year closer. 

(Second Birthday)

Your birthday for you is about new toys and streamers! Its about getting taller, running faster, reaching things you couldn't before, jumping higher and doing things you were once too small for.

And that is how it should be.

But let me tell you a secret I didn't learn until I had kids of my own.

A birthday for mommies is an anniversary!

(First Birthday)

 The anniversary of the first time I held you, the first time I kissed you, the first time you breathed your very first breath. It's the first time you cried. The first time you smiled. The first time and last time I became a mother of two! The time Will became a big brother. The third time I fell in love.

So while you are enjoying the celebration, I will be reflecting. I will be thinking about the day I got to meet you and hold you in my arms. About how fast you are growing! And hoping that for today, maybe it could all slow down just a little bit.

You don't remember that day. But mothers never forget. That is why no matter how big you grow, no matter what you do, you will ALWAYS be my baby.  

Being a Shield Maiden:

I think about war a lot. It comes with the territory. I watch/read the news and am always trying to gauge the hostilities. Because where there is war, there is a place my husband could go.

There is a different kind of war going on all around us. 

"For we  wrestle not  against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places."

Ephesians 6:12

Those words are part of my favorite passage of scripture. If you have been following along, you already read my post about forging my sword of truth. Now I want to discuss another point mentioned in this passage.

In Scandinavian folklore, the shield maiden was a woman who had been chosen to fight as a warrior.

In this wrestle we face today, women are not left out of the call to fight. We've all been called to be shield maidens or rather women of faith.

I am so not perfect in this. Last week was a ROUGH week for us. I like the security in knowing what the future holds. But life doesn't cater to this usually, especially in the military. Suffice it to say our plans that we have been working on for so.many.years just got thrown for a loop. And I panicked. I mourned for the future we had planned on and sacrificed so much for. I was confused and hurt. I questioned. It was not my proudest day. But what this did was give me a clear view of myself. Where was my trust and confidence when the world seemed to crumble around me? Where was my strength?  Where was my Shield of Faith?

I had to really take a step back and check myself. This wasn't ok. I needed to repent and move forward. When I find myself lacking in an area I start to research like crazy. Thankfully I didn't have to look far to discover what it takes to be a shield maiden.

 In her talk called "A Woman of Faith", Margaret Nadauld outlined the qualities us women should have:

"The Latter-day Saint woman who follows Christ is a true Christian in the very best sense of the word. She is a woman of faith who trusts God and is confident and fearless...A woman of faith trusts God and faces adversity with hope...A woman of faith is confident because she understands the divine plan of our Heavenly Father and her role to bless lives. She is confident that any sacrifice she makes is worth something in an eternal sense. She knows about sacrifice from knowing of the life of the Savior. She knows that her sacrifices may be small by comparison, but she knows that Heavenly Father understands and values what she does to strengthen her home and her family and the world in which she lives...A woman of faith is fearless. She fears no evil, for God is with her... There is no ambiguity, no uncertain trump in her life...She is less than perfect, of course, not because she doesn’t have perfect principles or the perfect example in Christ, but because she is human...She knows that He loves her even though she is imperfect and still trying to be better. She knows that when she does her very best, that it is enough..."

So now I am choosing to trust that everything will work out. I am taking that leap of faith and trusting that God knows where my feet will land. I'm letting go of what I wanted and gaining confidence that he knows what is best for me and my family. 

(Image Source)