In Defense of Self Defense

 

When I was 17, I worked at my family's video rental store. If you are too young to know what that is, think Redbox but where all the videos are lined up on shelves and you have to interact with a human in order to rent one. My mother ALWAYS told me to be aware of my surroundings. I would roll my eyes because of course as a teenager I was invincible. One night about an hour away from closing I heard my mother's voice in my head, "Are you aware of your surroundings?" I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. I casually looked over to the parking lot and sitting in a car right outside our store were two men staring right at me. I don't know why they were there, but the feeling my intuition was giving me was tangible. I jumped on the phone and called my parents and then texted a friend at the ice cream store next door and asked him to bring me some ice cream and hang out until the men left. He did. And it worked. The men drove off. I stayed on the phone until I was able to close up shop and go home. I have never felt so threatened in my life and I was so grateful help was nearby. I was also so grateful for the Holy Ghost letting me know danger was nearby.

 

 

Fast forward several years and I read a story of a woman who was sexually assaulted on the Pacific Crest Trail. Immediately people began to question why she would decide to go hiking alone. Every guide book will tell you that is not safe. There is safety in numbers. In response to this, others accused those questioning her preparedness of victim blaming. One woman continued to point out that women shouldn't NEED to be prepared for attacks of this nature. That women should be respected and valued as human beings and that she refused to learn ANY self defense or take any precautions simply because she didn't believe women should have too.

 

 

I agree, women SHOULDN'T have too...in a perfect world we should be able to hike alone without fearof attack. We shouldn't need to watch for suspicious vans parked next to us. We shouldn't need to consider taking different routes home each day. We shouldn't live in fear of the wrong person learning our husband is away. We shouldn't need to wonder if the "nice" man offering to help us with our groceries has more cynical motives. I shouldn't have a self protection stick attached to my key chain. I shouldn't have needed to create the habit of holding it at the ready. I shouldn't have to practice the defense moves I've learned. 

 

BUT WE DO NOT LIVE IN A PERFECT WORLD!!

 

The men who would hurt us do not care about our philosophical ideals of utopia. Yes, women SHOULD NOT need to know how to defend themselves. But we HAVE to be realistic. We HAVE to be honest about the world we live in. One day I hope to live in a world where everyone lives peacefully together and there is no danger for women. But that is not here and now.

 

One in four women will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime. Ignoring the danger or refusing to learn how to defend yourself isn't empowerment. Learning to protect yourself against those who would attempt to control you, violate you and harm you IS!

 

I have read other's say that those who practice self defense are paranoid. Listen, I don't ever think I will need to use what I have learned. But I am not willing to take a chance either. If I am ever in a position where knowing some simple self defense tactics or precautionary measures could save my life, I am so going to be so glad I paid attention.

 

View this knowledge like your food storage or 72 hour kits. Same principles apply!! You never hope to need it. You never WANT to need it. But you have it incase you might.

 

In a self-defense class I took taught by a previous Bishop and Chief of Police officer he made a point to tell us that the statistics and stories he told us, though horrifying, were not meant to scare us. He didn't want us to live in fear. Aware, yes. Fearful, no! The point of self defense is actually the opposite of fear. It is preparedness.

 

I encourage each woman I know to invest in their safety. To find a personal protection device that they feel comfortable with. To take a self defense class. To research defense tactics and practice them often so you are ready (Husband's are great for this!). Become aware so you can be less of a target and stay safe!

Whether you are a self defense master or just wanting to get started, here is a great place to start:



 

 

NOTE: I want everyone to know that I DO NOT BLAME VICTIMS of these crimes. The woman hiking alone was in no way responsible for what happened to her. That responsibility lies solely with the man who attacked her. If it wasn't her it would have been someone else. These people are opportunistic. We can do all we can to avoid giving these people the opportunities but these attacks will continue to happen. Had she had someone with her, chances are the attack may not have happened. But it is in NO WAY HER FAULT. And I hope that man is stopped before he has the chance to prey on anyone else. It does not matter what a woman is wearing, it does not matter what steps she has taken to protect herself if any, it is NEVER her fault. There is NO EXCUSE for these attacks. There is no justifying it based on the victims actions.  RAPE is not about SEX. It is not about sexuality. It is about control. I say again, IT IS NEVER THE VICTIM'S FAULT. YOU CAN NOT CONTROL THE ACTIONS OF OTHERS. YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR OTHERS ACTIONS. Take precautions to protect yourself but NEVER THINK FOR A SECOND that if you are assaulted you are at fault.