Why Modesty Matters To Me:

Recently I read a blog post about a new website in which women of my religion, in an effort to shed the shame, the inferiority, guilt and the objectification that some associate with being a woman, have decided to pose nude and post these photos online to show that they are now unapologetic about their bodies. 

It is very evident these women are hurting. Somewhere a long the line someone told them their body was evil. That they were a sinner just because they were born a female. That we are supposed to cover up in an attempt to save men from themselves. Men aren't able to control their own thoughts so its our fault if they think bad ones. Or that their body belongs to their husbands and not themselves. Or that their bodies were nothing more than the vessel in which children are born. And they believed it. 

Unlike these women, I was most gratefully surrounded by parents, teachers, youth leaders, church leaders and others who never, not once taught me that my body was something to be ashamed of. That being a woman meant that I was powerful, capable, strong and a force to be reckoned with. Being a woman meant I had been given a power to share with God in creating the bodies in which his spirit children would dwell and the home in which they would be nurtured and taught about him. A responsibility to hold that trust sacred. That my body is made in the image of my Heavenly Mother. That I have the ability to accomplish so many great and wonderful things because I am a woman! That my body is beautiful! Not just in a spiritual sense but also physically! That feeling confident in my body was important! That I should never be ashamed for what I am, a daughter of God. That it was ok to feel beautiful and attractive! And that sex wasn't something to be scared of. That it isn't evil. That it was something to look forward too, of course with the right person at the right time. That it wasn't something to be ashamed of or embarrassed about.

 Today the world seems to think that a woman's confidence is defined on how little she is willing to wear and how much she is willing to show. I can see the logic these women are following. They were taught to wear modest clothing for the wrong reasons. And I can see how they would think literally shedding their clothes could be seen as a symbol of them shedding all that hurt, guilt and shame they had been taught to feel. To show how confident they are in being a woman.

Although I can understand the logic behind their symbolism I feel the logic is a bit skewed. Confidence seems to be something people are projecting more and actually living less. As if confidence is something that must be proven or displayed. To me that seems to be the antithesis of confidence. If we are truly confident in who we are, we don't feel the need to validate it for anyone else.

I dress modestly because of all the things I have been taught about my body, one has always stood out to me.

IT IS SACRED.

And I treat it as such. Meaning I don't feel the need to share it with the world, who WILL objectify it, judge it, degrade it, pick it apart (No thigh gap, no curves, short torso...) and make it seem less worthy if I don't measure up to society's definition of beauty. No matter what my intentions are for posting a picture of that nature online, it will be scrutinized. I waited till I was married to be intimate not because my body belongs to my husband but because I knew I was saving that part of me for the person who was going to earn it. The privilege of getting to be that one man required him to measure up to MY standards. And even now that we are married it is still always on my terms. Once a picture of you gets put online you lose control of who sees it, who takes the photo and what they do with it. But not posting pictures of me means I am in complete control!  I don't need anyone's approval or scrutiny. I know my body is beautiful and I don't need to show it in protest or as proof of my confidence.

I loved this quote from the blog I read:

"Believing that my body is sacred doesn’t mean that I think that it’s secret. A private property sign doesn’t keep a building hidden, it just means that the owner wants to decide who, how, when and why access is gained. So you bet your bottom dollar that there are G-14 classified areas of my temple, and if you don’t have the clarifications, you can’t view em’, plain and simple."

Let me be clear that I don't wear t-shirts and Bermuda shorts because I am afraid. It isn't a mark of shame or submission as the weaker gender. In fact, it is the exact opposite. Because I view my body as one of the most incredible and precious gifts I have ever been given, I cover up. The privilege of being able to see it's full beauty belongs to one person.

But MODESTY like we talk about in the church is so much more than hemlines and hair cuts! All people see are the CAN'T DO's and not the WHY or even WHAT it really is:

"Modesty is an attitude of propriety and decency in dress, grooming, language, and behavior. If we are modest, we do not draw undue attention to ourselves. Instead, we seek to “glorify God in [our] body, and in [our] spirit” (1 Corinthians 6:20; see also 1 Corinthians 6:19)."

So much more than clothes. It's about embodying an entire attitude focused not on directing attention to ourselves but to God. Nude photos don't do that...

And as I read the stories of these women I feel in my heart that they are hurting. No one please misunderstand that. But I don't agree that posting nude photos is the way to show their new found confidence. You can be completely confident in being a woman without putting yourself on display, and it is my confidence in my body and my appreciation for it's sacredness that I have chosen to dress accordingly.