You can't get much done in life...

I don't like to ring my own bell but *ding ding ding* if I have a talent it is THIS:

I am ever so good at dropping the ball. 

I have perfected the gift of waving my little white flag of surrender!

Lets face it, parenthood and marriage takes energy. Energy that I just don't seem to wake up with on MOST DAYS! And it is so easy...ridiculously and pathetically...easy for me to forgo all plans of productivity and simply do the BARE minimum I need to get through the day (getting ready not included.) 

Those plans I had to work out...gone!

Will power to eat healthy? Pfff what's that?!

Laundry that needs folding? I'm so good at pretending it's not there! That's why we have two couches right?

Jeans? No way! I'm not going anywhere today, but if I have too lets make it Walmart so I don't have to change. 

Plans to take boys to the park? Why?! That's why we pay to have a backyard!

People it is that bad! It is so embarrassingly that bad!

Because lets face, ever since my hormones went wacko two years ago, three quarters of the month I am exhausted. It's getting better on the days I feel great but the days I'm not its not. I have always been really good at maintaining a positive attitude despite those crazy hormonal fluctuations but it's getting harder. I just keep telling my husband if we got pregnant this would all go away! He knows better though :)

But the other day I had a wake up call.  And by wake up call, I mean I read something that forced me to acknowledge what I had been purposefully ignoring all this time:

"You can't get much done in life if you only work on the days you feel good."

CRAP! Curse you Pinterest and all your wisdom:

Just kidding:

This really hit a chord with me. Am I really only going to put my best foot forward ten days out of the month? 

So the next day, despite dealing with  the cold my son was so kind to share and being exhausted because of stupid hormones I got up, worked out, got ready for the day, had a great preschool lesson with my son, folded laundry, cleaned house, played with my kids... basically what I could picture as the perfect normal day at home was achieved! It felt incredible! I felt incredible...tired but incredible.

The next day I may have regressed some but a lot of that had to do with how hard I pushed it in that work out. Incredible sure feels like soreness and tight muscles the next day  :) But I didn't completely relapse either! I still folded more laundry, got dressed in actual jeans and still had a pretty great day.

Here's hoping I can keep this up! I've written that quote on my fridge so it is glaring at me most of the day. No excuses! Also no delusions of grandeur. I'm not trying to be super mom. Not even close. But I am trying to be a little bit better! Here's to working on the days I don't feel good!

Dear Little One: What Birthdays Mean for Mommies

(Third Birthday!)

Dear Little One, 

Today is your birthday! No doubt you are excited about the balloons, cake, waffles with sprinkles, birthday pictures and of course presents! 

For you, a birthday is a celebration of growing up! One year closer to kindergarten. One year closer to getting baptized. One year closer to high school and driving and dating. One year closer. 

(Second Birthday)

Your birthday for you is about new toys and streamers! Its about getting taller, running faster, reaching things you couldn't before, jumping higher and doing things you were once too small for.

And that is how it should be.

But let me tell you a secret I didn't learn until I had kids of my own.

A birthday for mommies is an anniversary!

(First Birthday)

 The anniversary of the first time I held you, the first time I kissed you, the first time you breathed your very first breath. It's the first time you cried. The first time you smiled. The first time and last time I became a mother of two! The time Will became a big brother. The third time I fell in love.

So while you are enjoying the celebration, I will be reflecting. I will be thinking about the day I got to meet you and hold you in my arms. About how fast you are growing! And hoping that for today, maybe it could all slow down just a little bit.

You don't remember that day. But mothers never forget. That is why no matter how big you grow, no matter what you do, you will ALWAYS be my baby.  

Learning how to help my child with moving:

Combination of moving soon, haven't had a good night sleep in I don't know how long and being sick for more than a week, my resolve drained to empty yesterday when nothing seemed to go right!

Will noticed the boxes yesterday. Before this, moving was something they didn't understand. So they willingly went along with it.

This time is different. Will has made some AMAZING friends here.

I showed him his future school on Google Maps because he has been asking about school.

Then he asked if all his friends would be there too. I told him no, that we are moving to where his new school is. He got really sad and then suddenly really happy!

"Mom, I have a great idea! What if all my friends move with us?"

"I'm sorry buddy, but they have to stay here with there mommies and daddies."

"But I want them to come with me..."

Talk about breaking your heart.

Last night we had our ward Halloween Party. To see Will playing with his friends just broke me. I cried... And my husband was all like:

Now I have spent all morning researching ideas on how to help him cope. I was surprised to see that I am already doing most of the suggestions. Maybe I have a better handle on the motherhood thing than I think!

Here are somethings to do to help your children prepare for a move!

Get them involved in house hunting: I've been looking up places to live and I've been asking Will on his opinion. He gets really excited to see what could be his new room or backyard.

Take them around the new city: Google Maps is amazing! We spent a good hour "driving" around our new town. We saw his new school, playgrounds, favorite fast food place and new exciting things for him to see!

Show them their school website: Sometimes these websites have pictures of the students participating in fun activities. Will asked who they were. I said, "New friends!" He is still sad to leave his friends here but he is excited to meet new people.

Have them help pack: This gives them a sense of purpose. And it helps because the move suddenly is something they are a part of and not something that is happening too them and that they can't control. 

Common Sense Doesn't Apply to Laundry Detergent Pods...apparently:

I was surprised the first time I saw this on the news: "Another child is hospitalized for ingesting pods and the parents are mad at Tide!"

"Tide left their product within reach of your child?" I thought as the camera crew followed the child's mother to the top of the washer and dryer where she had left the container. I couldn't believe these people were actually blaming Tide. Now I am not a Tide fanatic. I make my own detergent but I couldn't believe they were blaming the company for the fact that they left the dangerous product where a child could get it. I hoped this blame projecting was going to be an isolated event...

It hasn't been. 

Just last week I saw yet another set of parent's upset at Tide because their child got to the pods and ate them. Where did the child get them? Again from on top of the washer. They've been making dishwasher pod type things for years now (I do use those!) and I haven't heard of anyone blaming Cascade or Dawn for accidental ingestion. We know to keep those locked under the kitchen sink, but laundry detergent for some reason doesn't get the same consideration.

"But kids think they are candy," the media screams! Kids think pills are candy, which is why they stay tucked away in a locked cabinet! That's what keep out of reach of children MEANS!
(Besides, anyone with kids knows that just about everything will go in those mouths regardless of if it looks like candy or not! Except veggies...)

Now parents, we make mistakes. Maybe they were having a hectic day and just didn't put the pods up. We do little things like that. Except the scary part of being a parent is the fact that little mistakes like that can end up with a hospital trip or worse. I always get really sad when I hear stories like this. It's unfortunate and I completely feel for the family. They are mistakes and I know the guilt that comes from it. But I also get irritated when the parents blame anything other than themselves. 

Accepting responsibility for our mistakes is PARENTING 101!!

If I were to leave a knife on the counter and my child got a hold of it, no one would go and a tirade against Cutco! What would make the news is how much a of a negligent parent I was.

Again, the scary part of being a parent is when we make little mistakes like that! I put stuff down all the time I mean to put away later but when it comes to the dangerous stuff, when we leave anything within reach of children, that says on the box we shouldn't, we automatically accept the risks and consequences.

You shouldn't have to read a warning label to tell you to keep laundry detergent out of your child's reach. To add insult to injury it is there just in case you couldn't put two and two together.

While I didn't believe it was really their responsibility to make any changes, Tide has since changed the container so children can't see the pods inside and they are working on making a tougher latch.

But the ultimate responsibility lies in the hands of the parents who buy the products and bring them into their home. Plain and simple.

(Disclaimer: I am not trying to make anyone feel bad if they have experienced something like this. What I am addressing are those parents who want to blame someone else. I've had to call poison control before because my son ate some berries that I knew were there but failed to identify if they were poisonous or not. Thankfully he didn't eat enough of them to cause any side effects. One of those treat the symptom type scenarios. I felt so incredibly guilty and still do. Mistakes happen and when they do we as parents have to take responsibility for them.)

Will is 5: PART-y One

I love my son. He is amazing! And he is also FIVE!!! 

Originally my husband was told he would get to come home on this little guy's birthday,

but you know how those things in the Army most of the time sometimes go :)

So I took the kids to visit Nonni and Papa so he could be around more people he loves than 

just me. (I'm already boring and he is only celebrating his fifth birthday...yikes!)

So my mom took him to pick out a cake and this is what he wanted: Drum rrroolll please...

Yes your eyes are not deceiving you! That is a blue slug bug car cake COMPLETE with Han Solo Angry Bird and finally topped with star shaped candles. 

This is pretty much exactly how he decided he wanted his bedroom decorated :)

Love this kid!

Kayli Moment: Spider Edition!

I know I can't be alone when I admit I am afraid of spiders. It's the number one ranked phobia! Even over dying. Hey, if it was rational it wouldn't be a phobia.

Since I've been married I let Clayton do battle with the eight legged freaks but obviously he isn't always here to protect me. So I ge t to handle the nasties myself.

A couple nights ago, I walk into my bedroom ready to pass out after watching several episodes of "Army Wives." When I noticed a big spider in that spot where the ceiling and the wall meet. 

Spiders love that place! As a child I would always scan the perimeter of this spot because that's where I would always see them. Then I would scream bloody murder till my father killed it. 

But that night it was just me...

Unfortunately it had decided to bunker down above my husband's dresser, which doubles as our office desk...which means clutter. I knew that if I were to get the spider with the broom and miss, it would fall and it would hide rather well in that mess. So I got the bug repellent and doused him good. That way I knew if he got away before I could finish the job it would only be a matter of time... Muahahaha! Before I could grab the broom the sucker base jumped from the ceiling into the mess. 

A little voice from the back of my mind whispers, "Hey remember that show on Animal Planet where you learned that not all spiders can be killed by your awesome bug spray?" Crap...there is no way I would be sleeping until I confirmed the creep was dead. 

I began to jiggle things on the desk to scare the thing out of hiding. Finally I spotted him sitting on my wedding photo. Obviously, the right tool for where he now taunted me was not the broom. I knew it had to be a toilet paper in the hand scenario. I hate doing this. Usually I don't pick them up until I've gotten them good with a shoe or broom and I know they aren't going to jump up my arm. Bravely I nabbed him with perfect ninja like precision.

And all the people watching were like:

If people had been watching...

I breathed a sigh of relief...but wasn't completely settled. Something wasn't right. 

You see, I watched A LOT of Animal Planet growing up. And while I don't like being near them in person, I am fascinated by spider shows. Maybe I was hoping that the more I learned about them, the less fearful I would be. So far, not working...

I remembered what the spider looked like before I mashed him too a pulp... How I had known instantly he was a male... a BIG male. And if you know anything about spiders, you know how big this HAS to make the female. That's right folks. In the spider world the female is drastically more macho than the males. In fact after they've mated the female will usually eat the male. The only time I have ever seen male spiders in my house is before or after I find the female. And I hadn't found her yet. 

I just knew this wasn't over. I managed to sleep that night, of course having nightmares of being cast in Arachnophobia: The Sequel. I didn't find her the next night. But tonight I walked in ready to zonk on my bed and sure enough there she was. Ready for her revenge. I had killed her dinner mate and she wasn't about to let that stand. She wasn't even trying to hide! She knew how big she was and she wasn't shy about it. The bug spray was still by my bed side and I quickly grabbed it. She saw this and got scared and ran to hide in the groove of the open window. I soaked the window sill. I grabbed a flash light because I couldn't see if she was still there and sure enough she started to dart back into the room. But I was faster and quickly slammed the window right on top of her. 

I opened the window back up to confirm she was dead.

She wasn't. I grabbed my keys which as a nifty self defense stick attached too it. And with some totally awesome jedi moves, squished her. Now my window is closed again and I totally have the hebejebes! 

Now to try and sleep...wish me luck!

Motherhood: The Mess of Silence

All mother's want is some peace and quiet...

But all we are really getting...

Is a Nesquick explosion. What this picture doesn't show you is his clothes which were COVERED and our poor couch :)

Military Life and My Anxious Child:

 Our children don't know exactly what Clayton does.

They know he is a helicopter mechanic. But they don't know what a soldier is. They don't know why he fixes Apaches and what the Apache was made for. They know that sometimes he goes to work before they wake up but comes home before they go to bed. They know that sometimes they won't see him that day. They know that it could be several "sleeps" before they get to see him again. But they don't know WHY:

Will is almost five! I can't believe it!

From about three months of age he became this super mellow kid. Before that it was three months of almost non-stop crying. I used to joke that he had met his quota for tears and that's why he just seemed to go with the flow. 

I never would have suspected that to change when we joined the army. He was just a super chill kid! 

When my husband first left, it didn't phase him, but he was only a week from turning two. However, after my husband had to go back to AIT after a two week Christmas break, he figured it out. Daddy was had been gone for awhile, came back and now was gone again. 

Suddenly the kid who would walk into nursery no problem didn't want to leave my side. And that is when I noticed the anxious side to him that had really always been there but had no reason to present itself.

Boy did it have a good reason now!

I know some families are very hard core army with their children. Their kids understand that daddy/mommy is going to go fight the bad guys. And that's great, but I hesitate to go there with my kids. They get so anxious about when they are going to see him again, I don't want them to worry about IF they are going to see him again. Not yet. I want them to sleep soundly not knowing about the bad guys that their daddy helps keep at bay. And right now that works for us.

I'm actually glad we only bought one:

We have two boys, which means when we get toys, we have to buy two!

Two windmills, two hot wheels, two everything!

For some reason, if we only have one of something, even if it is the lamest toy I've ever seen, both boys will want THAT one. 

We try to avoid this as much as possible...

A couple of weeks ago, however, we somehow lost all our parenting know-how and only bought ONE!

Meet Mimi. This little girl was the result of a $5 donation to our local zoo. Little Man has a whole pack of stuffed dogs like this so we thought we would just add to the collection! Totally spacing the scenario that was about to unfold. We handed the puppy to Will and sure enough, Caden began to cry...

Parental FACE PALM!

We tried to solve it by taking the toy from Will until we got home and Caden wouldn't notice, but then he started crying. I thought the contention would only last during our trip but I was wrong.

That first night started off awful. Both boys wanted to sleep with it. We had obviously bought it to go into Will's pack but we never thought Caden would care so much!

So I decided to let Caden sleep with it first, I thought Will needed a lesson in sharing. Will went into  hysterics. The kind you know just won't end until he gets what he wants. But I knew I couldn't reward the behavior. So I try to tell him that we are going to have joint custody and that he gets her tomorrow. But he couldn't hear me. He wanted Mimi NOW!

Then the most beautiful thing happened. Caden climbed up and handed his distraught brother the toy. Not expecting anything back he climbed down and into bed. I was SHOCKED!

Caden is in nursery and at the age where mentally it is almost impossible for them to understand the concept of sharing let alone with no egging on from a parent! The nursery manual even says that the leaders aren't supposed to make children share. TRUE STORY!

I praised Caden to Heaven and back to make sure I solidified that he did a GREAT thing. William thanked him and Caden responded with "Ah welcome!"

Now this wasn't the end of the fights. Heck they are fighting over her right now. But they have also been sharing a lot more too! A LOT MORE!! Not just with each other but with other kids also! 

For once I am glad we only bought one!

My children seem to think I am a Super Hero:

I'm starting to get what is going on here...my children OBVIOUSLY think I am Super Hero. This is the only logical thought process I could guess is running through their minds:

Mommy doesn't need sleep. She is perfectly capable of being woken up at anytime to rescue me from monsters or because I have the sudden urge to play. 

Mommy can survive without eating, so it's perfectly ok to ask her to do something just as she sits down to eat. Also, because she doesn't need it, there is no reason that despite the meal on my plate, I can't ignore it completely and beg for her's. She also doesn't need that chocolate; so I will just cry until she gives me the whole thing.

Mommy doesn't need to take time to get ready for the day. She is so super, she repels dirt, dead skin cells and oily hair. So its acceptable for me to wake up before she can shower or refuse to take a nap so she can get clean. 

Mommy doesn't need to exercise. She is super strong because she is super! So it's totally cool with her when I jump on her abs mid crunch or decide she's a horse while she tries to plank.

Mommy doesn't need to drink water, so it's ok for me to use her awesome camelbak water bottle as a chew toy and destroy it completely! (Happened today...)

Mommy can hear my demands above the roar of the dishwasher, shower and washing machine even after she has told me she can't hear me. I will repeat what I said at the same volume and from the same distance as I did the first time. 

Mommy can find anything, after I looked for a second and she looked for ten minutes!

Yep...they obviously think I am indestructible. Unable to starve, dehydrate, maintain an amazing physic with no effort...I know this won't last long so I might as well enjoy it now :)

Happy Mother's Day Book Review: The Invisible Woman: When Only God Sees by Nicole Johnson

I hope everyone had an awesome Mother's Day!!

Yesterday I got an incredible book from my Dad and I finished it yesterday too!

This book is about a woman named Charlotte. A wife and mother of two boys. She begins to notice that she has become invisible. That she is simply the hands that fold laundry, the driving force that takes them too school. To her husband she always looks "fine" when she asks. It's as if her family thinks that dinner magically appears in front of them each night. She begins to give into the thanklessness of her invisibility when she confides to a friend. Two weeks later this friend returns from a trip to Europe. Her friend hands her a book she found that would later change Charlotte's perception of her whole life.

The book is on the Cathedrals of Europe. I won't spoil it for you by listing the amazing parallels she is able to draw from it. But they are beautiful!

I can't say that I feel invisible ALL the time (Thank you Daniel Tiger for the "Thank You" song!) But do I feel invisible sometimes? You bet I do! When I'm on the phone and someone comes in begging for a snack, it's like I'm not even there. But motherhood is a service. And we shouldn't be doing our day to day with hope of recognition (We should still get it but that shouldn't be our motivation.). Our motivation should be to more like Jesus Christ and we need to use our faith and know that God sees our good works and our thankless service.

Well I need to wrap this up, Caden can't see that I'm trying to write a blog post and is asking for a story right now :) Please read this book! I am more than willing to lend my copy to anyone in my area who wants to read it, so long as I get it back!

The Power of Motherhood:

Hey fellow mothers! Do you ever have "days"?

Days where the house can't seem to get clean. The laundry doesn't seem to get done no matter how many shirts you fold. The dishes are piling up and the garbage needs to go out. The bills need to be paid, the children need to be fed. Diapers need changing...and changing...and changing... 

Today was one of those days for me!

But you know what I did? I put aside all the chores and my expectations for a super clean house, I surrendered because it wasn't happening today. Instead I played with my children. Their laughter filled my heart with love. Their joy radiated into my soul. I forgot how much fun it was to play with them. 

Now the day is over, and the house is still a mess, but today I accomplished much. Today was a good day :)

"When the real history of mankind is fully disclosed, will it feature the echoes of gunfire or the shaping sound of lullabies? The great armistices made by military men or the peacemaking of women in homes and in neighborhoods? Will what happened in cradles and kitchens prove to be more controlling than what happened in congresses? When the surf of the centuries has made the great pyramids so much sand, the everlasting family will still be standing, because it is a celestial institution, formed outside telestial time. The women of God know this."

-Neil A. Maxwell April 1978 "The Women of God"