Forging My Sword of Truth: Daily Scripture Study

Want to know a not-so-secret truth? I am not perfect!

Whew, there I said it! 

One of my short comings is that I struggle with reading a book I have read before. This includes my favorites like Harry Potter and sadly... the scriptures. 

If it isn't entertaining, it takes every ounce of focus and diligence to make it happen. And the scriptures aren't mind numbing entertainment. You can't just READ them, you have to STUDY them.

Sitting down to read the scriptures just felt so repetitive for me since I had read them once before.

"Here we go again, "I, Nephi...""

I needed to shake myself out of this! Simply because of the truth above: I am not perfect!

No one knows just how not perfect I am more than me. I need every molecule of help and inspiration I can get when it comes to my everyday battles.

During the last election, when it suddenly felt like the world had Mormon's under a microscope, I found myself in discussions that I was very ill equipped to be apart of. I had my "Shield of Faith" but it wasn't without its weak points. When friends wanted me to tackle some tough topics, I wasn't confident in expressing my faith. I quickly learned that my "Sword of the Spirit or Word of God" was not fit for the cause. In 2013, we saw that the curriculum for the youth in the church underwent an incredible change. And it was interesting to see friends post about their lessons on Martin Luther and things that I didn't learn until college religion courses. Why? Because, like never before, fluffy lessons aren't enough anymore. We need to be armed with the Gospel of Truth! And those blades must be sharp. And the quality of such is completely based on how we forge it.

When I think of hair splitting swords, katana are what come to my mind.

The Katana or more commonly known as the Samurai sword is created through an incredible forging process. The blacksmith begins by taking different steels with varying carbon densities and folding them, over and over and over. The layers of steel along with the repetitive folding process removes the impurities in the material. Impurities that would result in weak places in the blade, so great care is taken to ensure that the blade is as pure as it can be.

Next the blade must be hardened and quenched. During this process the smith takes the blade and coats it in their own mixture of clay, ash and/or rust. This mixture is unique to the forger. Next, the soon to be sword is heated to 1,382 degrees Fahrenheit. This actually changes the crystal structure in the steel. The smith will then rapidly cool the blade in water or oil. This again changes the molecular structure making it even harder. The blade is then polished through a process using finer and finer grains of polishing stones until it receives its final mirror finish.

When forging our own swords we should go through a similar process. We need to utilize different steel or resources. The Standard Works, General Conference, church magazines...etc.The more we delve into these inspired works, we begin removing the "impurities" in our knowledge. Maybe we were taught a principle incorrectly. Maybe that "mormon rumor" we believed our whole life isn't really true. Or maybe we learn or have learned something about a tough subject or event that challenges us. Or maybe the impurities exist as holes in our knowledge of the Truth. Ezra Taft Benson explained that "...the Book of Mormon exposes the enemies of Christ. It confounds false doctrines and lays down contention. It fortifies the humble followers of Christ against the evil designs, strategies and doctrines of the devil in our day...God with his infinite foreknowledge, so molded the Book of Mormon that we might see the error and know how to combat false educational, political, religious, and philosophical concepts of our time." (source)

When the smith is making his sword he knows the repetition of folding the steel will make the blade stronger. He doesn't hesitate to keep folding the metal or think for a second to do less folding than he needs too because he understands that the final product yields a blade that is stronger and up to the task. Our attitude about daily scripture study should be reflected in this way as well. We should not hesitate to delve in repeatedly and daily, with the knowledge that doing so will grant us truth, a greater connection with the Holy Ghost and we will be more receptive to the personal revelation that will come as well!

Even knowing this, it may be hard to make daily scripture study happen. Elder Neil A. Maxwell quoting Brigham Young said "Righteous desires need to be relentless, therefore, because, said President Brigham Young, 'the men and women who desire to obtain seats in the celestial kingdom, will find they must BATTLE EVERY DAY.' Therefore true Christian soldiers are more than weekend warriors."(source)

Just as a black smith makes his own combination of of clay composite to coat his sword before it is fired, may I suggest finding your own unique way of reading the scriptures? Do you mark them? Or don't you? Are you morning person and able to put in more of an effort then? Or are you a night owl who's mind seems to wake up when the sun goes to sleep?

Personally, I needed to shake things up a bit. So I added the institute manuals to my daily study. It broadened my understanding. This really worked for me and I highly recommend it! I also made the decision to read when my children are awake. For some that may not work. My kids definitely interrupt... a lot! But I want them to see me making this journey. I want them to hold me accountable. I want them to know that despite all my short comings, mommy reads her scriptures.

However, reading and gaining knowledge is simply not sufficient! It's a lot but there's more!

Brigham Young explained, "...that many who understand truth do not govern themselves by it."

While daily immersion in the scriptures is vital to our spiritual health, simply studying its words is not enough.

Joseph Smith made the bold claim that  "...the Book of Mormon was the most correct of any book on earth, and the keystone of our religion..." 

and he continued saying,
"and a man would get nearer to God by abiding by its precepts, than by any other book.” 

We can't simply hope that the words on the page will change us. We must chose to act! Spencer W. Kimball explained in the "Miracle of Forgiveness" that, "In abandoning sin one cannot merely wish for better conditions. He must MAKE them." 

I decided to make a mental list of my short comings. And resolved to do better in those areas. I was already tackling scripture study and prayer. But I knew I needed to apply the lessons I was learning to the other parts of my life that I struggled!

I stopped getting into debates and heated discussions on Facebook. This is a weak point for me. When I am passionate about something, I passionately "defend" it. While I believe its important to stand up for what we believe, at the same time we have been told in the scriptures to "Cease to contend one with another." (D&C 136: 23) I knew I  needed to be smarter in differentiating between defending and contending. Since doing this, I found that I am kinder and more understanding. Suddenly, my days aren't ruined by arguing with friends! Imagine that! And I feel happier! I struggle still but I always repeat to myself, "You don't have to attend every argument you are invited too."  People and relationships are more important than an debate to be won.

I also made a conscious effort to be more patient with my kids. 

I tackled some of the doctrine or church history events that challenged me. I researched and I prayed for understanding. I found that I was able to come to terms and accept things.

I made an effort to try my best to live the doctrines I was reading.

But I still struggled. It didn't all happen at once!

We need that fire in our hearts. Understand that in your commitment to read the scriptures daily, that fire may not come instantly. It may take days, weeks and maybe even months. President Uchtdorf related this story:

"A friend of mine recently wrote to me, confiding that he was having a difficult time keeping his testimony strong and vibrant. He asked for counsel.

I wrote back to him and lovingly suggested a few specific things he could do that would align his life more closely with the teachings of the restored gospel. To my surprise, I heard back from him only a week later. The essence of his letter was this: “I tried what you suggested. It didn’t work. What else have you got?”

Brothers and sisters, we have to stay with it. We don’t acquire eternal life in a sprint—this is a race of endurance. We have to apply and reapply the divine gospel principles. Day after day we need to make them part of our normal life." (source)

I believe scripture study is the same way. In my personal experience, it was as Brigham Young described, a battle. I was fighting a lot of things in myself. Trying to stay interested in the words I have read before. Some days I would finish a chapter and realize I hadn't actually read it and have to go back with renewed focus. As embarrassed as I am to admit this I can say that despite myself, I stuck with it. I continued to fold the steel. I didn't know how much it had grown on me, not until I got to the story of Abinadi. It was as if I had read it for the first time. It felt as if I was there, seeing that man in chains, standing before the king. Boldly proclaiming his testimony of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. My heart began to pound in my chest. It was just as Elder Cree-L Kofford described when he said, "Abinadi was and is special. His life, lived so long ago, still has the power to excite the mind and cause the pulse to pound." (From the book, Heroes from the Book of Mormon)

There was a fire in me from that moment on. I wanted to be like that man who defiantly stood before the wicked king and despite being at the mercy of his captors, he was unshakably confident and unwavering in the power and might of his God and Savior. Daily scripture study wasn't something I HAD to do. It was something I NEEDED and WANTED to do. If I put it off for whatever reason, I feel it pulling at me until I do it. Now I am not perfect. I still miss days. But I always regret it. I can feel that I missed something.

With this fire, my sword hardened even more! That was the turning point for me. My confidence in the faith I love grew incredibly. I was becoming a new person. I feel empowered in every aspect of my life. My role as a wife and mother took on even greater meaning. I began to recognize my potential even more. My ability to resist the temptations I struggled with increased. I am slower to anger, I feel more patient, I feel more loving. I feel more kind. I feel stronger! I discovered talents and a path that I am so excited to be on. I realize I can make a difference. I am here for a reason! But most importantly I feel I can stand more confidently than ever before, with all those who have and will stand and say, "Jesus is the Christ. The Savior of the world!"

Forging my sword of truth has been a life changing experience. Like the katana, there is still some fine grinding and polishing taking place. I am not perfect! Not even close. But knowing this just sheds more light to the fact I NEED this Gospel. I need to know these truths, so I can use them in my life to make the weak things strong. Knowledge is power. It's the only thing we can take with us after this life. The cultivation of this knowledge deserves time and energy!

I wasn't going to share my experience. But I realize that I am not alone in my struggle to make daily scripture study a priority. And I want to share with you that it is possible. You CAN do it! It will take time, it will take effort but you can do it. And you will be so grateful you did because you won't be the same.

Journey to Alabama Part 2:

(If you haven't read part one to this epic journey you can do so here!)

We left Monterrey and made our way to Arizona to visit with Clayton's parents! It were so excited to have another reprieve from sitting all day in the car. The boys got to run and play! And I love the desert there. It is a beautiful place!

The rest of the trip is a blur to be honest. We got sick following our trip to AZ. A nasty little cold that just stays in your nose and throat.

 GAHH!! We almost made it with no incidents or illness. The boys had been sleeping through the night too but of course being sick changed all of that. So while my amazing husband drove, I slept... as much as I could with two kids in the car :)

Today we made it to Alabama where we will be staying till we figure out where exactly we want to live! It is such a huge relief to be here. To know that I will be here for 18 months and Clayton will be here too...more or less! This adventure is going to be amazing and I can't wait to meet new people, try new food and new things!

Looking back I wish I had done somethings different:

1) Have the song "Route 66" on the iPod. When you are on I-40 you will pass a million Route 66 signs as well as go through a majority of the cities in the song. And every time you pass them by you will start singing it but only the little part you know and you can't get it out of your head because you don't know how the whole song goes!

2) Seriously, my boys did not need all the books and toys we brought to entertain them in the car. A DVD player and some movies was perfect. Parents of the year right here!

3) I would have packed a whole lot less... I'm serious. I should have only brought 3 pairs of yoga pants, a couple of t-shirts and a sweatshirt.

I'm sure I could come up with some more but now I'm going to rest. 

Epic Cross Country Move part 1:

When I told people we were going to drive from the Pacific Northwest to Deep South Alabama with a 5 year old and a 2 year old, I got a lot of this:

And rightly so...

I honestly had no idea how this was going to go and more importantly if I was MOM enough for the challenge!

Quite frankly my kids are pretty good most of the time, but they are not without their moments.

Would this push their limits? 

I had nightmares of spending hours in the car like:

While my children are all...

But thankfully it has been (for the most part) not bad at all! They are handling it incredibly well. Again proof that when I decided to start having kids Heavenly Father said, "I will send her the easy ones..." 

Day one we set out and made our way south and crossed into California! I was sad that it was dark when we drove through the red woods but we still got to see some crazy trees! Of course I have seen pictures of just how large these things are but seeing it in person just blows your mind!

We also got to stop by and visit Clayton's grandparents who own an incredible vineyard! 

ATV rides around the property with the cousins!

Playing all day in an incredible tree house!

And held millipedes that pooped on them :)

The day after that I got to cross off an item of bucket list!

 

And we are starting to get exhausted:

(Yes that is Will's leg on Caden's face...)

We've been having a great time! It's been so much fun thus far. We've been stopping by Clayton's old stomping grounds and seeing all the places he grew up in. That has been a really cool experience to see where he comes from! 

I hope the next half goes just as smoothly as the first!

Thanks Morgan!

Why Modesty Matters To Me:

Recently I read a blog post about a new website in which women of my religion, in an effort to shed the shame, the inferiority, guilt and the objectification that some associate with being a woman, have decided to pose nude and post these photos online to show that they are now unapologetic about their bodies. 

It is very evident these women are hurting. Somewhere a long the line someone told them their body was evil. That they were a sinner just because they were born a female. That we are supposed to cover up in an attempt to save men from themselves. Men aren't able to control their own thoughts so its our fault if they think bad ones. Or that their body belongs to their husbands and not themselves. Or that their bodies were nothing more than the vessel in which children are born. And they believed it. 

Unlike these women, I was most gratefully surrounded by parents, teachers, youth leaders, church leaders and others who never, not once taught me that my body was something to be ashamed of. That being a woman meant that I was powerful, capable, strong and a force to be reckoned with. Being a woman meant I had been given a power to share with God in creating the bodies in which his spirit children would dwell and the home in which they would be nurtured and taught about him. A responsibility to hold that trust sacred. That my body is made in the image of my Heavenly Mother. That I have the ability to accomplish so many great and wonderful things because I am a woman! That my body is beautiful! Not just in a spiritual sense but also physically! That feeling confident in my body was important! That I should never be ashamed for what I am, a daughter of God. That it was ok to feel beautiful and attractive! And that sex wasn't something to be scared of. That it isn't evil. That it was something to look forward too, of course with the right person at the right time. That it wasn't something to be ashamed of or embarrassed about.

 Today the world seems to think that a woman's confidence is defined on how little she is willing to wear and how much she is willing to show. I can see the logic these women are following. They were taught to wear modest clothing for the wrong reasons. And I can see how they would think literally shedding their clothes could be seen as a symbol of them shedding all that hurt, guilt and shame they had been taught to feel. To show how confident they are in being a woman.

Although I can understand the logic behind their symbolism I feel the logic is a bit skewed. Confidence seems to be something people are projecting more and actually living less. As if confidence is something that must be proven or displayed. To me that seems to be the antithesis of confidence. If we are truly confident in who we are, we don't feel the need to validate it for anyone else.

I dress modestly because of all the things I have been taught about my body, one has always stood out to me.

IT IS SACRED.

And I treat it as such. Meaning I don't feel the need to share it with the world, who WILL objectify it, judge it, degrade it, pick it apart (No thigh gap, no curves, short torso...) and make it seem less worthy if I don't measure up to society's definition of beauty. No matter what my intentions are for posting a picture of that nature online, it will be scrutinized. I waited till I was married to be intimate not because my body belongs to my husband but because I knew I was saving that part of me for the person who was going to earn it. The privilege of getting to be that one man required him to measure up to MY standards. And even now that we are married it is still always on my terms. Once a picture of you gets put online you lose control of who sees it, who takes the photo and what they do with it. But not posting pictures of me means I am in complete control!  I don't need anyone's approval or scrutiny. I know my body is beautiful and I don't need to show it in protest or as proof of my confidence.

I loved this quote from the blog I read:

"Believing that my body is sacred doesn’t mean that I think that it’s secret. A private property sign doesn’t keep a building hidden, it just means that the owner wants to decide who, how, when and why access is gained. So you bet your bottom dollar that there are G-14 classified areas of my temple, and if you don’t have the clarifications, you can’t view em’, plain and simple."

Let me be clear that I don't wear t-shirts and Bermuda shorts because I am afraid. It isn't a mark of shame or submission as the weaker gender. In fact, it is the exact opposite. Because I view my body as one of the most incredible and precious gifts I have ever been given, I cover up. The privilege of being able to see it's full beauty belongs to one person.

But MODESTY like we talk about in the church is so much more than hemlines and hair cuts! All people see are the CAN'T DO's and not the WHY or even WHAT it really is:

"Modesty is an attitude of propriety and decency in dress, grooming, language, and behavior. If we are modest, we do not draw undue attention to ourselves. Instead, we seek to “glorify God in [our] body, and in [our] spirit” (1 Corinthians 6:20; see also 1 Corinthians 6:19)."

So much more than clothes. It's about embodying an entire attitude focused not on directing attention to ourselves but to God. Nude photos don't do that...

And as I read the stories of these women I feel in my heart that they are hurting. No one please misunderstand that. But I don't agree that posting nude photos is the way to show their new found confidence. You can be completely confident in being a woman without putting yourself on display, and it is my confidence in my body and my appreciation for it's sacredness that I have chosen to dress accordingly.

Rabbits: Have a holly jolly...wait what?

Guys I can not believe its here! Christmas carols, the smell of our tree is filling the apartment, the halls are decked with bows of holly...

OH WAIT!!

There is still one amazing holiday to celebrate before we get to all that!

Call me a Scrooge all you want but personally I choose to put off the holly jollies till the day after Black Thursday *Cough* I mean Thanksgiving! 

Wait...you haven't heard of Thanksgiving?? It's this holiday between Halloween and Christmas where we celebrate the Native Americans giving turkey to the pilgrims! But it is also a day where we stop and really count our blessings. Yes, should everyday be Thanksgiving? Of course, but then we'd all be sleepy and fat from eating all that cranberry smothered turkey and pie! Such gluttony is best left to one day a year.  

 I have nothing against Christmas. In fact I am such a die hard Christmas-put-offer because I love it so much! The anticipation of the holiday makes for an awesome day after Thanksgiving!

So while the stores will start playing Christmas carols and the early bird shopping has begun, I will not be participating! 

To kick off this Thankful Season I am sharing this with you in hopes it takes over your brain and reminds you that is not Christmas yet :)

            

(Disclaimer: Anyone can celebrate however they want too! This is just ONE opinion and this is just how I celebrate. To each their own!)